The Lord of Lords, Holy of Holies, Mover of the Unmovable, Creator of all things Living and Inert, Giver of Life and Taker of Death gave a brief revelation early this morning on a Hilltop outside of DC to a Department of Justice Intern Seth Christian.
This information is sort of scattered. It comes to KSP Central via DS who is one of our Junior Staffers. DS is best friends with a woman who Seth has been "sort of dating, sort of stalking, but not in a really creepy way?"
But to sum up, what I can understand from DS, who primarily communicates by TXT MSG, and when she speaks ends almost every sentence with a sound which seems to imply she is asking a question, but she claims is just to make sure everyone is keeping up.
Summary of the Events, and DS account, and KSPs thoughts...
EVENTS AS REPORTED LAST NIGHT:
Last night, in front of the neo-Originalist Federalist Society, Attorney General Mukasey was schedualed to provide a one hour speech defending the administration's torture policies and making the case against prosecutions of everyone in the Bush Administration who have conducted War Crimes.
Apparently, somehow, an actual Constitutional Scholar, or Christian who has read the Bible and believes in Human Decency got in the room and began shouting him down calling Mukasey a "tyrant", "fascist" and "destroyer of the Christian Good." The Christian Protester was dragged from the room by his hair by bulky plain clothes individuals. It is unclear who they were affilited with. Members of the Federalist audience shouted the heckler down, boo-ed him and cheered as he was dragged screaming from the room.
Mukasey, eyewitness accounts state ignored the heckler event, but then became even more animated in the argument he was making, pounding the podium and demanding understanding for why Dick Cheney ordering electrical current to be run through the scrotums of terrified teenagers and heaps of naked hooded men to be built in his honor are perfectly normal and acceptable reactions in a time of war.
Mukasey then began choking up, made a series of strange statements that have been reported by so far as "slurred words", turned sheet white, stiffened and then collapsed.
After a battery of tests, no one has been able to explain what happened. The medical experts are flumuxed, one off the record comment of a GW medical expert: "It's one of those wierd things that medicine just can't explain I guess."
ENTER KSP's EMPLOYEE DS WITH AN OMG REPORT.
"So my friend has this guy who she slept with, like once, but it totally freaked him out, he is like some weird Christian Guy who went to one of those Law Schools that only make Christian Lawyers?"
"So he is all over her like in a stalky, but Christian Stalky, so it's sort of creepy but not creepy, so he calls her this morning, he calls her a lot in the morning, but he is all freaked out?"
"He was jogging. Up on Signal Hill? He has this place in Georgetown he like shares with all these other Christian Lawyers who work at DoJ??
"He met God! I mean O-M-G! He calls my friend and says that he was jogging and then everything got all wierd and silent,and then there was this ringing in his head and then he say like this beam of light? My friend asked him what kind, and he said it was just like those posters where God appears with a beam of Light? But then he said the ringing in his head just got louder and there was all this wierd like slurred crazy humming?"
"Then God says, and this is gonna sound really wierd...God Says: 'Sorry. I forget you don't speak Aramaic here anymore?" I mean WTF?"
"Then my friend says her freaked out stalker says God told him: "Please let your fellows know I am ashamed and frustrated by my actions last night. I have been working on my Anger issues and really trying to focus on Peace. I mostly have just been sending peaceful messages, and I tried last night to use your Boss, Mr. Mukasey as a vessel. Unfortunately I believe I Spoke Through him, and probably slipped into Aramaic, or Ancient Greek. When no one seemed to want to heed my message. I got Angry. I smote him. I really just wanted to get the message that everyone involved in ordering torture should be held accountable. And I intend to hold them accountable to full extent of Lordly Law."
KSP SUMMARY.
I won't go into the raft of other OMGable things that came out from this, including what makes Christian Stalkers less creepy. But suffice it to say I think we need to get Video of what Mukasey actually said. What has been reported as "slurred words" the Lord himself is saying was his effort to demand those who did this be held accountable.
And we should make sure we get the message to Mukasey that God feels remorse for Smoting him as he defended the torture of the innocent.
It's the least we can do.